how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops