Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Which one is hardest?

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Praise Paisley

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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