Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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42

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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