What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Woman's rights

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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