If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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