how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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fava beans

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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