whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops