did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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