Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops