What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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