Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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