Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops