how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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