An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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