What's white and sticky? Glue

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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Boston was having so much fun everyone was running and screaming

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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