how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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liam buchan is gay !

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read me write me

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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anti jokes are really funny

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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