What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. Everyone shoots her.

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Why didn't the Asian student ask for a calculator? Because he was busy washing the dishes and thought a calculator would be completely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Religion.

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penis that is all

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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What is red and green, red and green, red and green? A frog in a blender.

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Why are people racist? Thats a good question

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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