Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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A woman walks into a bar.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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ugvvvvvv

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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