And now a word from our sponsors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the man say to the other man? hey

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -9

penisface

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Fart

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops