why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

Arrow in the Knee!

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

NEVER

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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