Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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brian mcgee is gay!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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