Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Llamaworm

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops