- Anti Joke

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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