Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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25

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Kate

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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