why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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