what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There is no I in Pie except for the I

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are black people afraid of white people? Over two hundred years of oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

who farted your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

24

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops