why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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stuarts mum

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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