Your text.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Which one is hardest?

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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