A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

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bum sex lol

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest? Because it wouldn't be financially viable to try and sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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8=>

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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