What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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