Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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