There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

mitchell palmer sucks

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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