A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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