Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Cheese stick

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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The Bible

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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