Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Dear John,

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Im gay What about you

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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