Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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My kids are mistakes.

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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I'm gay.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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