There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Good.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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