An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

( . Y . )

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops