Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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Sarah Palin is President

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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