Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops