How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +46

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops