Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dusters blow stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops