A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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8=> >->-o

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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