Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -33

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops