What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -33

17

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do you speak alien? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops