matt is fat

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Dick Chaney

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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