A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops