Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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