Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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kathryn atkins

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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