A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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Jack Stevens

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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What is Earth made out of? Earth

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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