what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -26

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down

69

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops