A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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