How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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