Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Ham sandwich

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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hi

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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