Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops