Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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When you see it... YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASAM.

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Sarah Palin

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Compton

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Trashcan!

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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