Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whose there? i don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops