What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Girls

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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When you see it... YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASAM.

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Sarah Palin

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops