how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Who is John Galt?

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Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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