A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Miami Heat.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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CRY

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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