what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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