What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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