Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Flop dog

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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