New mission: refuse this mission

thumb_up thumb_down -34

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

thumb_up thumb_down -9

quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops